voldemort was real dumb make your horcrux like one brick in some random ass house in turkey whos gonna look there
team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”
sir will you please stop doing the worm your wife is in labor
how to have a flat stomach
- remove all of your organs
new olympic sport: the contestants must sit on their legs until they fall asleep and then run down a flight of stairs
this is gonna get a ton of notes I can feel it
I would watch that
you know youve got it bad for a pairing when youre reading sexless domestic fanfiction
when you hear everyone flipping the test page over but you’re still on question 2

hey u kids wanna buy some drugs
So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era.